Writer: Sonika Tatipalli
Anticipation of Obstacles
Around 22 million individuals across America suffer from a case of sleep apnea (“Sleep Apnea Information for Clinicians – Sleep Apnea”) and possibly millions more. To solve the condition of these individuals and to prevent more patients from being harmed, some solutions and precautions were proposed. However, using this as a real solution to obstructive sleep apnea has some obstacles. The proposed solution can be very effective if it can be correctly implemented. However, there are parts of it that are difficult to execute. One part of the solution is to ask questions as part of the normal survey that are given by doctors. This solution would truly help diagnose a vast number of patients that may be at a risk. However, it is not plausible because it would take a lot of effort to implement this in every single hospital. Additionally, we must spread awareness for sleep apnea. Although doing this could reach many people, there is no possible way to inform the entire world. Another reason for why it is not completely effective is that many people may hear it but still ignore these warnings.
The next part of the solution is the apparatus that strives to prevent the palate from sinking. This is an oral appliance that sends pressurized air. It uses the advantages of two current solutions, and combines them to make it the most comfortable and most valuable solution to obstructive sleep apnea. The problem with this device is that this process to create it may be costly. A CPAP machine alone costs an average of a little under a thousand dollars for the patient (ASA Authors & ReviewersSleep Physician at American Sleep Association Reviewers and WritersBoard-certified sleep M.D. physicians, scientists, editors and writers for ASA). The only reason for this would be the cost to build it. To implement this into a small oral device would be even more difficult, and would take a large investment. Not only would it be costly to create, but it would also be difficult for everyone with this condition to buy the product. Not all patients may have the financial standing they need to spend this much money on this product compared to other ones.
As a safety precaution, my solution included a safety watch that constantly tracks oxygen levels and automatically calls the ambulance when this level drops to a lethal state. The obstacle facing this is that not many people would see the value in it. They believe that there is no need for this extra safety feature, and thus, put themselves in risk. Since they already have a solution, there is no need to “waste” money on this is what they believe. Therefore, it would be difficult to get this product into global markets.
All these various obstacles can be overcome with the right knowledge and dedication. Creating this proposed solution to sleep apnea may be complex, may be hard to implement in all hospitals, may be costly, and may be hard to get into the global market, but can definitely be effective if it is thoroughly thought out.
The obstacles section was carefully thought out and well written. All of these possible obstacles that could get in the way of making this a real solution to obstructive sleep apnea are stated and explained clearly. Another highlight of this article is the writing style. It maintains formal language throughout the article and engages the reader.
One thing to note about this is that the author included in this section, a negative aspect about her proposed solution. The writer states that it would be difficult for everyone with the condition to afford the product. Although it is beneficial that she mentioned this, it would not necessarily count as an obstacle. The obstacle section is for the author to write about what may get in the way of implementing the solution in the real world.
One thing to improve in this section would be to state possible solutions that could help ease these obstacles. Although it may not be possible to think of a solution for each of the obstacles, at least a few of them should be thought out. This way, there would be a higher score for the approach and feasibility sections in the scoring of the entire essay.
ASA Authors & ReviewersSleep Physician at American Sleep Association Reviewers and WritersBoard-certified sleep M.D. physicians, scientists, editors and writers for ASA. “CPAP Treatment.” American Sleep Association, 21 Aug. 2020, www.sleepassociation.org/sleep-apnea/cpap-treatment/#:%7E:text=The%20average%20price%20for%20CPAP,hose%2C%20filters%2C%20and%20tubing.
“Sleep Apnea Information for Clinicians – Sleep Apnea.” Sleepapnea.Org, www.sleepapnea.org/learn/sleep-apnea-information-clinicians/#:%7E:text=Sleep%20disorders%2C%20including%20sleep%20apnea,severe%20obstructive%20sleep%20apnea%20undiagnosed.