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Proposal Requirement 2 Example: Sleep Apnea

Writer: Sonika Tatipalli

Instagram: @sonikatatipalli

Email: sonika.tatipalli@gmail.com


Abstract

Sleep apnea, a prevalent disorder, affects millions of individuals around the world. Patients with this condition stop breathing during their sleep. There are two types of sleep apnea: central and obstructive. The latter, which is more common, occurs when the patient’s upper jaw sinks, closes the airway, stops the patient from breathing, and leads to significant harm, potentially death. This disease silently harms patients because a majority of the cases go undiagnosed. Furthermore, the current solutions to obstructive sleep apnea have numerous insufficiencies. Aiming to effectively treat the condition with the optimal level of comfort, a new solution has been proposed: an innovative machine in the form of a dental appliance that sends air down the throat. Additionally, a method to increase awareness and a smartwatch as an extra safety measure should be implemented. This solution may be the key to prevent sleep apnea from fatally harming countless individuals.


Analysis

This selection is a well-developed summary of the entire essay. By using words such as “prevalent” and “optimal,” the author develops a professional tone and engages the reader with effective word choice. This abstract covers each major part of the essay and gives the reader a thorough view of what to expect. One weak area is that this is a little too detailed for the abstract. Whereas an abstract is supposed to be a brief overview of the essay, this abstract is a little more detailed and lengthy. Some of the small details could have been left out which would have provided a more effective outline of the entire article.